Author: jennthompson

Your current role model.

is a role model the same as a hero?

Definition of role model. : a person whose behavior in a particular role is imitated by others.

hmmmm … i guess not.

so … in that case, i have a few.

there is the brave VM that i model my advocacy strength after, MO whom i draw so much from in my fearlessness, AF with ability to tackle new things all the time.

if i had to pick role models, i would definitely say those are the three women in my life who i hope to be more like.

Something funny that happened to you recently.

man … funny stuff happens every day.

one of the most recent things that made me laugh right out loud, actually, was when the BoyBun came up and asked me to help him with something on his tablet … the WiFi or something … and i did. help him. i helped him and he said, as he walked away, “thanks, motherfucker.”

not in any angry or anything way … just the word came out all singsongy like how little kids talk. and it was so strange. and unusual. and he had never used that term before … and i laughed. out loud.

though my parental instinct told me not to. though my hand wanted, desperately, to clasp over my own mouth to hold in the reinforcing sound. i laughed and laughed, and didn’t hold it back.

and i said, “well, you’re welcome motherfucker!” as he disappeared around the corner to play in the basement.

What fear is holding you back?

oh … the fear of outside, usually …

but right now that’s, like … a skillset, or something.

i am not too sure to be honest.

the fear of the unknown if i have to pick one.

i try to focus on things within my control, as an anxiety coping strategy so i don’t really play into fears as much as i can help it. but for the purposes of this particular writing prompt …

the fear of the unknown would have to take the cake.

i am sure everyone is sick of the #CoVidCrisis at this point. i am no different! i notice the changing variables and moving targets put in place by government officials and noticing the long lasting impacts that they are having on people around me. even if i am still home, all the time, in my pre-existing socially distanced bubble.

it isn’t fun that things keep dragging out the way they do and the part of that that makes it seem to impact most people, across the board, is the lac of long term planning ability. we like to look forward to things. without the ability to have some things to look forward to, it seems extra hard.

so … i am planning little things here to fight that fear. things for my self and my community to look forward to.

no matter what may come.

What’s stressing you right now?

… um …

i don’t know.

hoping my daughter treats this semester more responsibly.

my son needing more activity than i have been able to provide for the last couple of months on account of this heel … that’s stressing me out. he’s an active little guy and he needs to do WAY more than i have been able to. his disruptive behaviours have been escalated because of it. but … my foot can take some weight these days and we have some regular respite so i am looking forward to positive changes in that area soon.

so … that’s it, i guess.

the state of the world, in general, at this time is also a source of stress for many. but not me at this time. i know … i should be freaking out. someone with anxiety like me, not freaking out when the world is a dumpster fire. but the thing is … i have faith in my heart, not fear. and i cannot stress about what is outside of my control. so while anxiety and panic has risen for the general population, i have fallen back on my therapy and have relied on all the tools that have been built into my toolbox for years. i have focused on what i can do, not only for my family but for my community … my physical community and my extended community. i have spent my time filling the community cupboard and making sure my neighbours have food in their bellies. i have been busy making home education resources available for people who find themselves homeschooling, not by choice but out of necessity. i have enjoyed taking time, when the weather is nice, to host performers of all kinds while venues have been closed. so … the current state of the world hasn’t been stressful for me.

#MorningThoughts

Your favourite way to recharge your energy levels.

DOING SPEED

no, i’m kidding. i don’t do speed anymore! it’s bad for your health and doesn’t fit my crunchy mom lifestyle.

coffee is pretty stellar. sativas help too.

but nothing is as good as a nice, long bath.

i also find a GREAT recharge in helping others. it’s weird. i can feel like i have nothing to work with and then someone needs something and i am filled with a burst of helpfulness which then leaves me, after, with this euphoric feeling of purpose and ability.

every week when i refill the CommunityCupboard outside our house, every time i make up BlessingBags, every time i am able to positively impact the life of another … i am recharged.

#MorningThoughts

What’s your goal for the next month?

To get through all of our homeschooling assignments even though it’s a short month.

I am sure it will be fine and we will knock it out of the park like we have been … but the shortness of this month always increases my anxiety.

As though anxiety comes in monthly installments and because there are three less days, I have to use marginally more anxiety each day to keep up with my quota.