Author: jennthompson

coffee

hands down, every single time!

covid.

and that is all.

but not for long.

adaptation to the new normal is already well underway here.

it depends who you ask …

volleyball and basketball are the sports i played as a teen … on account of my size and whatever.

i like to watch football. CFL. the TiCats are my team.

but for participating in, my actual favourite is swimming. if that counts as a sport. i could swim forever. i could live in the water for ever. i could abandon the land and swim for a few hours, until i were out in the open water. then i could float away to infinity. i love the water. i used to hold my breath and see how far i could swim, when i had time to go many times/week. i could do a length and about a half when i was at my peak. these days it’s hard to make a length without coming up for air. but if i push … and just trick my brain into telling my heart that it can beat slower so there is no need to inhale … and just keep pushing … i can do a length across without coming up.

March Madness is a really great thing too. i used to think i was born in march just to enjoy all the good basketball

<3

um …

i am pretty sure my kids would go for a good price on WayFair.

#MorningThoughts

… i just did …

i quit smoking cigarettes.

it was my bad habit.

i am also working on ADDING MORE WATER to my life. i actually REALLY hate drinking water. it makes me feel SO sick. i can hear it sloshing around in my tummy when i drink it, basically until i barf it out. it’s gross, water. but … i am like, almost 40 now so … i am doing some things to take better care of myself.

one was to quit smoking.

the other is to drink more water. more than none is sorta easy.

the actual amount of hell it takes to get my children to do things.

i know this is probably a “common parent issue” but … when you have a severely high needs small child, and a teenager endlessly attention seeking who is also likely on the spectrum and DEFINITELY displays Pathological Demand Avoidance … it isn’t *actually* a typical level of parenting issues.

i am a single mom, and with two kids like this … it is a lot in the BEST of times. it has been almost insurmountable throughout covid.

i try, to the best of my ability, to manage it all but … it has been SO much because of this stupid pandemic nonsense.

and as the restrictions and nonsense drag on and on … it just continues to get worse. like the death by a thousand pinpricks. this is life now.

i hope something changes in this because … i am weary of the battle. it shouldn’t always BE a battle at all. i should be able to say simple things, like please brush your teeth, and they should just happen … not involve a 90 minute battle of wills with my small human because he isn’t a fan of the sensory input. trust me, he likes even less the tooth pain of cavities and the need to be even MORE uncomfortable at the dentist!

but this is part of my routine.

it’s a battle to get the kid(s) up.

it’s a battle to get them to get dressed for the day.

it’s a battle to get them to brush their teeth.

it’s a battle to get them to eat something healthy for breakfast.

it’s a battle to get them to do their school work.

it’s a battle to get them to eat a healthy lunch.

it’s a battle to get chores started nevermind done.

it’s a battle to be able to sit down for dinner, i haven’t SAT through an entire meal in almost 20 fucking years because of it actually.

it’s a battle to get bathing to happen.

and then it’s a battle about bedtime.

from the time i wake up until the time i finally lay down at around 1 am, only to get up and start it all over at 6 am, it is a battle.

and i am so tired of fighting it.

and it isn’t actually like this for other parents.

not everyone has PDA to deal with or SPD or ODD or any of the other symptomatic behaviours of high need autism spectrum disorders. and i deal with it all day and all night, year after year, alone. while also battling the world at large to recognize the battle, and our humanness. and also battling a deadbeat douchebag who wanted a child and fucked off when it wasn’t easy for him, and is YEARS behind in support payments to the point i had to battle to get wage garnishment (it takes YEARS to get there … YEARS of consistent battle on my part)

i long for the day there is some semblance of normal outside again so that i can find a place to take a break once/week because i REALLY need the break and hope.

and i long for the day that endless battle isn’t part of my routine.

#MorningThoughts

trying to schedule everything in well …

i have a lot on my plate, and i like it that way, but there never seem to be enough hours in the days. or days in the week.

i know that a lot of people would argue against that preface right now, considering restrictions and stay at home orders and the like … but not me. i need more time. to do all the things.

so … time … i am struggling with time and need more of it.

#MorningThoughts

i had two bagels … both of them were banana/chocolate chip bagels, but one was with peanut butter, the other with nutella. both toasted.

i could eat toasted bagels ANY time. all the time. i call them bread donuts. and i find them delicious.

i like blueberry bagels toasted with strawberry cream cheese especially. that is one of my favourites.

or plain bagels toasted with peanut butter on one side and butter and brown sugar on the other side.

i think i need to go have another bagel now …

happy munchin’

Smile, happiness looks gorgeous on you.

gosh.

i value kindness. highly. i try to be kind. but also balanced.

i am often saying, for as nice as i can be … i will be ten times the bitch if i have to. i prefer to not.

nice and kind are probably different.

but kindness really matters to me.

random acts of kindness. targetted acts of kindness. kindness aimed at anyone, for any excuse.

i think kindness is a way of life, actually.